Archive for March, 2009

Why Does He Say He Is Not Ready for a Relationship?

March 31st, 2009 |

Reasons He's Not Ready for a Relationship Q: I am 30 and he is 45 we basically live together. I am only dating him and he says he is only dating me but why does he say he is not ready for a relationship?

A: First of all, let’s define the term ‘relationship’. A relationship is a commitment between two people to provide love and support as well as fulfilling emotional needs for each other. There is a lot of love given back and forth and the two people have a healthy respect for one another. Does that in any way describe your ‘dating arrangement’ with him? Because if it does, if the two of you are there to support one another, then whether he thinks so or not, that is a relationship. If this is the case, what you have here is a difference of perspective. Your man’s idea of a relationship may be different from yours. Your problem then may be just getting him to admit that it is a relationship.

Reasons for His Refusal to Get Serious

If this is not the case, then there are other reasons for his refusal to get serious. He may be comfortable with the arrangement as it is and doesn’t want to change it. Change can be unpredictable and why mess up a good thing. You are already living together so he gets all the benefits without the commitment (sort of like having your cake and eating it too). He may also want to keep his options open. It is possible, in his mind, that someone better may come along. There is 15 years difference in your age, after all. Older men who date younger women sometimes like to keep their eyes open for a younger model. If he has been married before, then he may be soured on the idea of commitment. He may not want to get in a situation that could put pressure on him to get married. So it could be a number of things.

Living Together

These days living together does not necessarily mean a serious relationship. Lots of people live together because it is convenient and saves on living expenses. So there are two important questions. How long have you been dating and how long have you been living together? If either of these are recent developments, then you may just need to give him time. Guys don’t like to be rushed into anything. However, if the two of you have been together for quite awhile, then he just may like the situation as is and not want to change. If so, you have to communicate to him how you feel and get him to understand that getting serious about your relationship will not change anything and will only have positive effects.

Live Better University – 100 Great Advice Blogs

March 26th, 2009 |

by Doug Brinlee

Sometimes we need advice, and the Internet has become the place to get it. Hundreds of blog sites are written by both experts and laymen which offer tips and opinions on any topic imaginable. Here we present 100 of the best blogs offering tips and advice on a wide range of subjects, from love to the Internet, from wine to gardening. Learn from them and live better.

Love Advice Blogs

Whether you’re a lonely single looking for a connection or a social husband/wife looking for fulfillment, a blogger somewhere offers love advice. Here are ten of our favorite love advice blogs.

Susie and Otto – Susie and Otto are relationship coaches and soulmates who have run websites since 1999 in order to help people improve their relationships and lead a healthy emotional and spiritual life.
Savvy Miss – This website is a community for women and has featured blogs regarding love advice and tips such as Eli Davidson, who was featured on the Today Show.
Internet Dating Tips – Mostly dedicated to love and relationship advice for online dating.
Love Birds – Open source dating ideas. Author is Lob Eng from Singapore.
Dear Sugar – Blogs about love and sex, health, celebrities, fashion, and entertainment.
Dating & Relationships at About.com – Terrific blog written by About.com dating guide Bonnie Albo.
Lessons for a Happy Marriage – Paul Friedman provides marriage and relationship advice.
Dating Thoughts – A group of friends and professionals contribute advice and personal relationship tips to this entertaining blog.
Practical Dating Tips – This one’s written from a decidedly male perspective.

Health and Fitness Tips Blogs

Want to lose weight? Live longer? Be more attractive? Next to love and money, health is the most popular topic on the site.

Health and Fitness 101 – A blog that targets people living the Montana lifestyle, this site offers some interesting tips and advice for staying healthy.
The Health and Fitness Blog – Diet reviews, tips, and advice about the proper food that you should eat.
Everyday Health – Features some good advice from doctors in the field of chronic pain, cancer, allergies, and other ailments.
Diet Health and Fitness – A good source for fitness tips and articles on vitamins, supplements, and diets.
Your Health Product – A good resource for meditation and dealing with stress.
Bray Fitness Blog – Phil Bray’s blog offers advice regarding fitness techniques and tips as well as proper diets for all health enthusiasts.
Weight Loss at About.com – Jennifer R. Scott presents sensible and healthy weight loss tips and advice.
Blue Zones – A tiny number of geographical locations have a much larger than usual incidence of centenarians. The Blue Zones looks at the lifestyles of the people who live in those locations to provide advice for healthier living.
The Health Blog from the Wall Street Journal – Health news and events from a respected news source.
Health & Sports at AskMen.com – Focused on helping men live healthier, more athletic lives.

Personal Finance Blogs

Love, weight loss, and money are three of the most popular topics on the Internet. Here are some sites about money and how to manage it.

Get Rich Slowly – This isn’t just one of our favorite personal finance blogs; it’s one of our favorite blogs, period. Consistently well-written and brilliant, Get Rich Slowly is a must read. Bookmark this site now, and subscribe to their RSS feed. Your financial health will thank you.
The Simple Dollar – Another of our favorite sites, The Simple Dollar site offers personal experience from a former spendaholic about finances, career choices, investments, and spending habits.
Real People, Real Finances – People blog about their personal finances and share their tips and advice about money with others.
Wise Bread – Covers personal finance, how to save money, and the financial industry as it relates to the average consumer. How to live large on a small budget.
Bargaineering – A popular advice blog about financial investments and spending, it has been around for several years now and has been cited in several financial publications. (The logo is a picture of an engineer, which is a play on the name, “bargaineer”.)
I Will Teach You to be Rich – Blog written by the author of the book I Will Teach You To Be Rich. He’s a Stanford graduate who co-founded pbwiki.com.
My Money Blog – Personal finance and investment blog that deals with portfolios, investments, and the financial markets.
Money Saving Mom – Save money by getting the best deals and freebies.
Money Blue Book – Advice about keeping up with your credit and managing your net worth.
Moolanomy – Financial guides, frugal living, and how to invest, from multiple authors.

Internet Tips Blogs

The Internet can be used to conduct your business as well as to conduct your social life. Most of the blogs below focus on conducting business online, but a few of them “mash up” business and social aspects of the worldwide web.

Social Media – Blogs about how social media is changing the Internet, and about how you can plan a strategy around this.
Social Media Today – News and opinions about how social media sites are changing the Internet.
Mashable – Another guide to social media and the Internet. I particularly enjoy their “megalists”.
Biz Tips Blog – This is another blog about how to use the internet for marketing and full of advice on building your business over the web.
Blog Herald – Opinions and news about the state of blogging on the Internet. Very professional.
Guide to Blogging – This is a pretty cool blog site that deals with blogging topics such as how to set up and run a blog.
Top Rank Blog – A great blog about tips for the internet such as web building advice, search engine optimization, and social media.
RV Internet Access – Tips about how to access the Internet aimed at RV’ers.
The Internet Bloke – Another very useful blog designed to assist with setting up and running a small internet business.
Techie Buzz – This one’s more of a technology blog than it is an Internet blog, but a lot of their content is aimed directly at Internet users. One of their recent posts was about online to-do list managers. Great stuff.

Travel Advice Blogs

The travel industry is one of the largest businesses on the Internet. But no one wants their trip to suck because they didn’t get the information they needed before leaving. Here are ten travel advice blogs to help you get ready before you go.

Blogabond – Multiple blogs from multiple contributors about backpackers and independent travel.
Everything Everywhere – Gary Arndt’s blog about his world travels along with photos and Q&A.
Travellerspoint – Another community of multiple travel bloggers, Travellerspoint also offers a forum, photos, travel guides and advice.
TravelPod – This immensely popular site features blogs by experienced travelers to just about every country in the world.
Lonely Planet – Lonely Planet is a company dedicated to travel information and guides, but it also features an interesting blog by one of the co-founders that features many of his travels.
Travel Blog – Another popular travel community with blogs, photos, videos and tips from around the world.
My Trip Journal – This site lets you store journals and blogs about your travels and has featured journals from contributors.
Travbuddy – Not only does this website have travel blogs but it also has hotel rates, reviews, and a world travel guide.
Wicked Good Travel Tips – Tips and advice from about various destinations, saving money, and planning trips.
Worldhum – Extensive site with articles that discuss world news that pertain to the traveler.

Beauty Tips Blogs

The blogs in this section might seem like they’re only for women, but we tried to include some style tips type blogs for men as well in our list of beauty tips blogs.

Mens Fashion at About.com – Daniel Billett edits this excellent resource offering grooming and style tips for men.
Get Kempt – An Urban Daddy production about men’s style, fashion, and grooming.
Men’s Flair – Men’s style from those who are living it. (Whatever that means.)
Smarter Beauty Blog – Addresses all issues of personal beauty from hair and make-up to shaving and product reviews.
Makeup and Beauty Blog – Makeup reviews, tutorials, and drugstore beauty finds.
Dolce Beauty – Makeup tutorials and tips to natural and organic products, all inspired by celebrity beauty.
Beauty Chat Blog – Focuses on looking good and feeling good. Lots of beauty tips and advice along with reader responses and comments.
Beauty Blogging Junkie – A witty blog that’s very funny but still informative. Their tag line says it better than we ever could: “Beauty is the promise of happiness.” – Stendhal
Adventures of a Cosmetology Student – Interesting to get a perspective from a student at a cosmetology school about various beauty and grooming related subjects.

Car Tips Blogs

This section will be most meaningful to our readers from the USA, because the United States LOVES cars. Most of these blogs offer more car news than car tips.

Autoblog – Obsessively covers the car industry and news, as well as offering new and used car reviews.
Ask Patty – Car advice for women. We love the name of her site too!
Kicking Tires – Advice and tips for anyone buying a new or used car.
Car Craft Blog – Mostly aimed at do-it-yourself car enthusiasts.
Carspace – A car themed social networking site. Members create their own blogs and participate in forums.
Classic Nation – Classic car enthusiasts share photos and advice.
Classic Cars Blog – A really informative blog full of tips and tutorials on classic car restoration.
Automotive.com – More newsy than tips-oriented, but still of interest to car-lovers.
Cars Cars Cars – A blog about cars. Only angrier. How can you not want to bookmark a site with such a great tagline?
Buying Advice – A narrow themed blog. If you’re looking for advice about buying a car, then you’ll find it here.

Wine Blogs

The best news we’ve heard in the last ten years or so was that wine (in moderation) is good for your health. Here are some blogs with tips and advice on how to better enjoy wine.

Dr. Vino’s Wine Blog – Run by a writer and wine connoisseur, this site give a lot of great tips and advice about travels through vineyards, wine tasting events, and wine reviews. Wine talk that goes down easy.
Winelog – Anyone can join and share their own wine experiences and tips with other readers.
Wine Spectator – Chock full of wide topics on wine, it has a blog section where editors to share their thoughts.
Chelsies Wine Notes – Reviews affordable wines that don’t taste cheap.
Cheap Fun Wines – Covers great tasting wines under 20 bucks.
Alawine.com – Industry news such as vineyards, specific years, and winery awards. Especially concerned with award-winning wines.
Another Wine Blog – He writes about more than just wine though. He also writes about travel and beer.
Wine Blog – Juicy wine thoughts from Jo Diaz.
The Blog Wine Cellar – Includes some wine education videos, as well as wine recommendations and thoughts.

Food and Cooking Tips Blogs

Wine is fun, but food is even more universal. Not everyone drinks wine, but everyone eats. Here’s how to enjoy cooking and eating more.

Simply Recipes – Lots or recipes broken down by category. Also features cooking tips, like how to soften butter.
Food and Health – Really cool recipes, food advice, and tutorials with photos on how to prepare certain recipes.
Joys Thai Food – If you are a Thai food lover, this site includes everything Thai, from recipes to ingredients and history.
101 Cookbooks – Full of recipes and photos of mostly vegetarian or healthy dishes.
Blue Kitchen – Good resource site for both beginner and advanced cooks with a wide range of foods, recipes, and tools.
80 Breakfasts – Dealing mainly with breakfasts recipes, this site has stuff from the ordinary morning meal to a bit more unusual.
Cooking With Amy – A culinary writer offers food tips, restaurant reviews, event news, and other cooking advice.
The Orlando Sentinel Food Blog – Restaurant news and food news.
Culinary School of the Rockies Blog – When the chefs in training at the Culinary School of the Rockies aren’t in class, they’re providing cooking tips in this blog.

Gardening Tips Blogs

Gardening is one of those activities that pays multiple dividends in multiple ways. Gardening is a great way to be more active and get more fresh air and sunshine, which is good for your health. And if you’re growing fruits and vegetables, then you’re eating fruits and vegetables.

Sustainable Gardening Blog – Lots of information about gardening tips, tools, types of gardens. Winner of the Best Organic Gardening Blog.
Guerilla Gardening – For people who replace trashy and neglected urban areas with gardens.
The Gardening Blog – Posts entries from other popular gardening blogs, thus covering a wide range of topics.
My Houston Gardenspot – Site run by a former school teacher who shares her gardening tips and experience. Focused somewhat on Houston, Texas gardening.
I Heart Gardening – This information site on plants and gardening has a blog section where anyone can sign up for and post articles.
Garden Views – Personal reflections on gardening. This one’s been online for a long time and has a huge archive.
The Garden Central – Recent updates include how to grow wild flowers and exotic flowers.
Home Gardening Tips – Bill Stanley provides advice on how to grow flowers and organic vegetables.
Gardening Tips & Ideas – Tips and advice for gardeners at all levels of experience, from beginner to expert.
Weekend Gardener – A monthly web magazine with advice and tips for gardeners.

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Is Jello a Good Diet Food?

March 12th, 2009 |

Sugar Free Jello Diet

We have an article about good diet foods, and one of the foods that’s mentioned in the article is that perennial children’s classic, Jello. But is Jello a good diet food?

I’m comfortable saying that Jello is a good diet food, but I wouldn’t center a diet around Jello. I don’t think a “Jello diet” is going to be sweeping the nation any time soon. Although it might make as much sense as a cabbage soup diet or something like that.

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If you’re on a low carb diet, then sugar free Jello is a recommended dessert on most plans. Jello is mostly protein, you see. I know that on the Atkins diet, sugar free Jello with real whipped cream is the customary dessert.

Sugar Free Jello Diet In some respects though, whether or not Jello is a good diet food is a personal issue. Do you like Jello? Do you like it enough to eat Jello often? Do you know any good Jello recipes?

From the perspective of providing nutritional value, Jello doesn’t have a lot going for it. There’s no fiber in Jello, for example. And Jello isn’t exactly loaded with vitamins either. And personally, I could never get any particular feeling of satiety from Jello. (Now the whipped cream was a different story.)

Jello is probably a good diet food from the perspective that it’s a sweet treat that doesn’t contain a lot of calories. So if you have a sweet tooth, then Jello might be excellent diet food indeed.

The Medifast diet has been clinically proven to be safe and effective

See also:

Is the South Beach Diet healthy?
Which Diet Aids Work?
The Flat Belly Diet and Sassy Water Recipe
What Is the Mediterranean Diet?
What Is the Cookie Diet?
Safe, Fast Diets

17 Cute Love Quotes

March 11th, 2009 |

Cute Love Quotes and Sayings

We get a lot of visitors from people looking for cute love quotes and sayings, so here’s a list of 17 quotes about love that I thought were cute. Enjoy.

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Famous, Funny Love Quotes and Sayings

“I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.” – Woody Allen
“Love’s way of dealing with us is different from conscience’s way. Conscience commands; love inspires.” – AJ Toynbee
“Love is life. All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love.” – Leo Tolstoy
“Love is the extra effort we make in our dealings with those whom we do not like and once you understand that, you understand all. This idea that love overtakes you is nonsense. This is but a polite manifestation of sex. To love another you have to undertake some fragment of their destiny.” – Quentin Crisp
“Love is the profoundest of secrets.” – Henry David Thoreau
“Why must love always be accompanied–sooner or later–by sorrow and pain? Why not? Because pure bliss is for pure idiots.” – Edward Abbey
“There has never been a day in my life when I was not in love.” – Edward Abbey
“Girls, like flowers, bloom but once. But once is enough.” – Edward Abbey (Can you tell that I’m a big fan of Edward Abbey? If you want to read a really romantic book sometime, check out his early novel Black Sun. It’s a tragic and haunting love story that will stay with you forever.)
“I don’t have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who’d be mad at me for saying that. ” – Mitch Hedberg
“Don’t sweat the petty things, and don’t pet the sweaty things.” – George Carlin
“‘I am’ is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that ‘I do’ is the longest sentence?” – George Carlin
“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.” – George Carlin
“Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.” – Albert Einstein
“He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.” – Ben Franklin
“Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?” – Christopher Marlowe
“If you would be loved, then love and be lovable.” – Ben Franklin
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.” – Albert Einstein

Cute Love Quotes and Sayings If you have some cute love quotes you’d like to share with us, then please leave a comment here. We also have 50 more cute love quotes in our content section, so be sure to check those out too. Also, if you’re interested in language as it pertains to dating, especially in the online dating scene, one of our sister sites has a section devoted to dating lingo. For even more information related to cute love quotes and sayings, visit some of the following pages:

Create a free ecard using your personal photos, videos and music!

How Do I Make My Hair Grow Faster?

March 10th, 2009 |

How to Make Your Hair Grow Faster

Did you recently shave your head, and then you decided you didn’t like the look? And now you’re asking yourself, “How do I make my hair grow faster?”

Or did you get your hair cut too short for some reason? And like the guy in the previous example, you’re wondering, “Gee whiz, how can I make my hair grow back faster?”

Are you gradually starting to lose your hair? Maybe you should be asking, “How do I reverse male-pattern baldness?” instead of “How do I make my hair grow faster?”

Control Excessive Hair Loss Guaranteed

How to Make Your Hair Grow Faster At any rate, the answer is that you can’t make your hair grow faster. The rate at which your hair grows is determined by your DNA structure. Some people’s hair grows faster than others, but not usually by a significant amount. Most people grow their hair at a rate of half an inch or so per month, or six inches per year.

Here are a couple of other cool facts about hair growth:

A normal scalp has about 100,000 strands of hair on it.
Those strands of hair have a lifespan of 1 to 5 years each.
People lose an average of 100 strands of hair per day under normal conditions.
Baldness happens when those strands of hair don’t grow back.

(Thanks to Hairfinder for some of this data.)

More than half of all men have some kind of problem with baldness by the time they reach the age of 50. My solution is to keep my hair really short, and at one time I even shaved it all off. People seemed to think that bald was a good look on me, and they sure seem to like it on Patrick Stewart and Bruce Willis. But if you came here looking for a solution or treatment for baldness, here are a couple of things to consider:

Propecia and Minoxidil are the 2 most popular baldness treatments available, but both of them work better as a preventive measure. So start your treatment for baldness earlier. These drugs won’t help you grow your hair faster, but they will prevent you from becoming balder.
Most baldness treatments might as well be made of snake oil.
Combovers generally look pretty bad, Donald Trump notwithstanding.
Hairpieces generally don’t look much better than combovers.
Hair plugs can also be easy to spot.
A shaved head can be pretty doggone cool.

You might have come to this blog looking for how to make your hair grow faster, but with any luck, you’ll leave with at least an inkling that it might be okay to be okay with your hair the way it is. Or with total baldness.

Or you can read our other article about How Do I Make My Hair Grow Faster, in the content section, which contains more tips and advice for people who want to grow their hair faster.

Control Excessive Hair Loss Guaranteed

80 Fun Questions to Ask Friends

March 5th, 2009 |

I offer the following fun questions to ask friends to anyone who’s looking for something to talk about. I’ve categorized them into 8 different categories. Pick and choose the questions you like, and avoid the questions which might be too intimate or uncomfortable for you.

Fun Questions About Movies to Ask Friends

Everyone watches movies these days, so here are some fun questions to ask you friends about the movies.

What’s your favorite movie of all time and why?
What was the best movie you saw this last year and why?
Who’s your favorite director and why?
Do you like black and white movies? Why or why not?
Do you read movie reviews? If so, which reviewers do you enjoy? If not, why?
What’s the scariest movie you’ve ever seen? Do you like horror movies? Why or why not?
Who’s your favorite actor and why/
Do you cry at movies? If so, which movies make you cry?
What’s the funniest movie you’ve ever seen?
Would you rather see a movie at the theater or at home on DVD? Why?

Fun Questions to Ask Friends About TV

Even more people watch tv than go to the movies. So here are some fun questions to ask your friends about tv.

What’s your favorite tv show of all time and why?
How many hours a week do you spend watching tv?
What’s your favorite tv station and why?
What was your favorite tv show when you were growing up?
Who’s your favorite actor on television and why?
Would you rather watch a sitcom, a reality show, a police drama, a legal drama, or a medical drama? Or something else? Why?
Has a television show ever moved you to tears? If yes, which one and when?
Do you watch the news on tv? How often?
Have you ever been on tv?
If you were a character on a tv show, which one would you be?

Fun Questions to Ask Friends About Books

This one is a little tougher, because a lot of people don’t read books anymore. But here are 10 fun questions to ask friends about books anyway:

Has reading a book ever changed your life? Which one and why, if yes?
Do you prefer to read fiction or nonfiction? Explain your choice.
If you could be a character in any novel you’ve ever read, who would you be and why?
Has reading a book ever made you cry? Which one and why?
How many books do you read each year?
Have you ever written (or started to write) a book?
Name one book you had to read but hated, and explain why you hated it.
If someone wrote a book about your life, what would they title it?
If you could pick a book you’ve read to make into a movie, which one would you choose?
What was your favorite book as a child and why?

10 Sexy Questions to Ask Your Friends

Depending on your relationship with your friends, you might or might not be comfortable asking them sexy questions. If so, just skip past this list of 10 sexy questions:

Have you ever been involved in a threesome? Would you consider doing so in the future?
At what age did you lose your virginity?
What’s your favorite sexual position?
What’s your favorite foreplay activity?
Have you ever faked an orgasm?
Have you ever had a one night stand?
Which 3 celebrities would you most like to have sex with?
What’s the kinkiest kind of sex you’ve ever had?
Do you own any sexy underwear? How often do you wear it?
How often do you have sex each week?

Fun Questions to Ask Friends About Money

Money is a less sensitive issues than sex with some people, but others might find it even more personal. Here are 10 lighthearted and fun questions about money you can ask a friend:

What would you do if you had a million dollars?
Are you a spender or a saver?
How much money do you save on a regular basis? (As a percentage of your income?)
Do you have a personal written budget?
When you go to a meal dutch, would you prefer to itemize the receipt or just split it in half?
When you’re on a date, do you think the man should pay or not?
What’s the most expensive gift you’ve ever given someone?
What’s the most expensive gift you’ve ever received from someone?
If someone offered you a million dollars for a night of sex, would you do it? Would it matter if the person were good looking or not?
Do you invest in the stock market? What kind of investing strategy do you use if you do?

Fun Questions to Ask Friends About Music

Almost everyone listens to music. Here are a few fun questions about music you can ask your friends:

What’s your favorite kind of music?
Who’s your favorite singer or band?
What’s your favorite album?
What’s your favorite song?
Do you like to sing karaoke?
Are you a good dancer?
Do you like musicals? (movies or theater)
Has a song ever made you cry?
If your life was a song, what would the title be?
If you could be a particular singer or musician, who would you be?

Fun Questions to Ask About Games

All of us played games of some kind growing up, and some of us still play games now. Here are some fun questions on the subject:

What was your favorite game to play as a child?
Do you play video games now?
What’s your favorite gambling game?
Do you prefer card games or board games?
Do you ever play drinking games?
Are you good at Chess?
Have you ever played Dungeons & Dragons? Did you like it/
Do you ever play solitaire when you’re bored?
Are you good at Trivial Pursuit?
Have you ever been on a game show? Which one?

Dilemmas

Dilemmas are questions you have to think about. Thinking aloud about your answers with your friends can be a lot of fun, and it can shed a lot of light on why your friends are the way they are.

Would you rather be rich or healthy?
Would you rather be good looking or rich?
Do you believe in the death penalty? Why or why not?
Have you seen Sophie’s Choice, and if so, do you think she made the right choice or the wrong choice?
Would you like to know the day you’re going to die ahead of time? Why or why not?
Would you rather have super strength or super intelligence?
Would you rather have the power to be invisible or the power to read minds?
Would you rather spend the rest of your life without a significant other, or would you rather have a partner who is extremely difficult?
Would you rather spend life in prison or be executed?
Should marijuana be legalized? Why or why not?

And that’s that. 80 fun questions to ask friends. Hope these break the ice at your next party or first date. For more creative questions we recommend the The Complete Book of Questions: 1001 Conversation Starters for Any Occasion book.

See also:

Related:

Long Distance Dating Tips

March 4th, 2009 |

Long Distance Dating Tips and Advice

“Long distance dating” is when you’re dating someone who lives far away. It doesn’t matter what precipitated the long distance dating situation; it’s difficult. You might be going to different colleges, you might be young and your family moved you to another town, or you might have gotten a job in another town. But not being able to see your significant other as often as you’d like to can shatter a relationship. I’m offering the following long distance dating tips and advice to try to make the whole situation easier for both of you.

Long Distance Dating Tip #1 – Schedule, schedule, schedule…

Scheduling is an important part of maintaining a long distance dating relationship (or even an online relationship). You’ll probably be talking on the phone daily, maybe even multiple times per day. This is a lot easier if you schedule a time when you talk every day, or at least schedule your next call when you finish your phone call today. If you don’t go to the trouble of scheduling your phone calls, you’re going to invariably interrupt each other during your daily life activities. And eventually someone’s feelings are going to get hurt because the other person can’t talk. Avoid the problems by scheduling your phone calls.

Long Distance Dating Tips and Advice You also need to schedule the time you’re going to actually spend together physically. If you’re in a long distance relationship where you can drive to see each other, then you might be able to get together every week or two. If you live further away, and you have to take a plane or a train or a bus, then finances might affect how often or how seldom you’re able to get together. Either way, if you schedule your visits with each other, you’ll be able to look forward to seeing each other.

Spring into a relationship on Perfectmatch.com

Finally, schedule an end to the long distance relationship. I don’t mean schedule your breakup though; I mean schedule an eventual time for your long-distance relationship to become a short-distance relationship. If it’s school-related, then your graduation date is an obvious end point for when you have to be apart. Same way with a job. Or if you’re young, then when you get old enough to make your own decisions and decide where to live, you can schedule your time to be together again based on that.

Long Distance Dating Tip #2 – Define your expectations of each other from the outset.

Setting expectations for your relationship and your partner might seem unnecessary, but it’s important. You might expect to talk to your long distance relationship partner every other day, but she might expect to talk to you every day. Hurt feelings can result quickly if that’s the case and you haven’t discussed it. You might be satisfied getting together once a month, but your partner might want to get together every two weeks. Again, if you haven’t discussed it, hurt feelings will result.

Expectations about whether or not you’re going to date others are important to talk about honestly beforehand too. Secrets don’t say secret, and a long distance relationship where one partner expects fidelity can be ruined by a mis-timed phone call. Besides which, you’ll feel guilty for misleading your partner. And don’t just assume he doesn’t care if you occasionally go out with other guys. Jealousy might be an “immature” emotion, but what’s really immature is keeping your partner in the dark about the actual status of your relationship. (Open relationships are great if you both agree that’s what you want. But never assume that just because someone is far away that they’re okay with that arrangement.)

Having clearly defined expectations of each other is a big part of maintaining a healthy relationship.

Long Distance Dating Tip #3 – Take care of yourself.

A certain amount of selfishness is healthy. In fact, it’s necessary if you want to be a mature, actualized person. Most people who are codependent don’t get themselves into long-distance relationships anyway, but it’s entirely possible to let your relationship become your whole life even if you both live far away from each other. Don’t let that happen to you.

Develop your own interests. Have a hobby. Have friends. Exercise. Eat right. Just because your girlfriend lives 100 miles away doesn’t mean you have to spend all of your time talking to her on the phone, writing her love letters, and planning your next date. You’ll be more attractive and interesting to your partner if you’re your own person anyway.

Those are just the first 3 long distance dating tips I thought of today. I’d be interested in hearing thoughtful feedback in the comments here.