How to Be Affectionate
Let’s take a good look at the word “affectionate”. The strangely poetic dictionary definition says that it means simply “displaying warmth” or “displaying affection”. The fact that the verb “display” is built into the definition tells us a lot — simply having warm feelings is not enough to create affectionate feelings, you need to actually act on them.
A relationship without affection is hardly a relationship at all. Affection is the thing that separates a close friend from a lover or romantic partner, and making displays of that affection is so key to keeping a relationship afloat that many couples get by on their affection alone.
Being affectionate doesn’t mean constantly smothering your partner with touching and kissing. For the most part, the most important displays of affection are small and meaningful as opposed to grandiose and flashy. Both women and men say that “cuddling” is the most important form of affection. That’s probably because the simple act of holding your partner in your arms conveys warmth and love without too much energy. Watching television and holding hands is the simplest form of this kind of affection — not every method of displaying your affectionate feelings is so simple, but it is often the simply displays of love that mean the most.
Here are seven ways to start showing the affection you naturally feel for your partner.
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Seven Ways to Be Affectionate — with a Guy, a Girl, a Husband, a Wife, a Boyfriend, or a Girlfriend
You might have come here because you’re a shy girl and you want to know how to be more affectionate with a guy. Or you might be a husband who’s wife is complaining that he’s not affection enough, so you searched for “how to be affection to your wife.” Whether you’re a boyfriend or a girlfriend, a husband or a wife, these tips for being more affectionate should help.
1. Be affectionate all the time.
This means that displaying your affection is not just a task for intimate moments. The next time your partner is cooking, washing the dishes, or doing some other chore, you can display affection on the small scale by walking up behind them and wrapping your arms around their waist or kissing the back of their neck. This shows that you care about them even when they’re doing busy work and is the perfect way to thank your lover for doing a chore. Talking to your partner, telling that person you love them, is important all day long and not just when you’re “in the mood”.
2. Make it a point to touch your partner.
I know, I know — we just said that being affectionate isn’t about constantly touching your partner. Then again, small moments of touching spread throughout the day (and regardless of circumstances) proves that you are truly affectionate and not just going through the motions. A simple and quick touch on your partner’s shoulder or waist, or even a thing as small as a kiss on the cheek can work wonders in your partnership. Think about the ways you like to be touched and share them with your partner — consider these kinds of touches “educational”. When you make it a habit to touch your partner, you create intimacy in even the most chaotic of times.
3. Snuggle together on the couch.
After a long day at work, many couples retire in front of a movie or the television. This is the perfect time to share affection, though many people miss out on it simply because they don’t think about it. Holding hands, touching your lover’s hair, and kissing during commercials (so you don’t miss a minute of your favorite show) will go a long way toward proving to your partner that you care. It is easy to get caught up in sexual touching and overlook the kind of soft, romantic touching that lovers need to maintain their romance and reassure each other of their love.
4. Take walks together.
Not only is taking a walk good for your body and your mind, it can be the perfect time to display affection. Even though your partner may never tell you so, display of affection in front of other people may be really important. It communicates to your lover that you want everyone to know how you feel about each other, and more often than not the two of you may solve other relationship problems while taking a slow stroll through your neighborhood. Holding hands during a walk is a pain-free way to communicate your love to your significant other.
5. Greet your partner with affection.
There’s nothing better than coming home to the one you love. The next time your partner comes in the door from work, greet them with a big hug and kiss or another showy affectionate gesture. Work is stressful, and if you don’t greet your partner this way sometimes that stress invades your home and your relationship. The best antidote to stress is touch and affection — before you do anything else when you walk in the door or when your partner walks in, announce how happy you are that he or she is home and start getting affectionate right away.
6. Try functional affection.
Not all affection is random or simply out of kindness. Some forms of affection are functional in that they actually get something done. The simple act of giving a back rub or a neck rub is a very functional way to show warmth and help your partner. Brushing your lover’s hair can be as intimate as any action you can take, and it does serve a purpose — women especially tend to love to have their hair brushed. It is soothing and is good for their hair. If your partner is really dreading a specific chore, taking that chore over and doing it for them every now and then is another way to show warmth without even touching.
7. Be concerned about your level of affection.
You’ve already got this step covered. Simply being worried about sharing affection with your partner shows that you want this relationship to work and are willing to go to great (or small) lengths to get the job done. Talk to your lover about what kind of affectionate touch they like or need, and share your own feelings on the subject.
Showing affection is easy and you can take just a few minutes out of your day to share it with your lover. There are few simpler things you can do to pump life back into your relationship. Whether you’re looking to ignite a spark that has gone out or to extend your romantic life into the everyday activities you and your partner share, displaying affection is vital to promoting happiness between you and your lover.
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For more information related to how to be affectionate, see some of the following:
- How to Handle a Relationship with Someone Who Isn’t Affectionate
- What Do Women Want in a Man?
- Giving a Woman Space
- How to Be Romantic without Spending a Lot of Money
- How to Write a Love Poem