How Do You Handle Problems In A Relationship?

Have you ever known a relationship that didn’t have problems? It might have been one of yours or someone else’s, like a friend’s, that you watched from the sidelines. Even the best relationships have problems (even if you are unaware of them). They can be frustrating, cause a lot of tension, and if left unchecked can build to even bigger problems. So how do you handle problems in a relationship?

I had some friends who seemed to be the perfect couple. They were always smiling and laughing and seemed to be a great match. I didn’t find out until years later that they were in counseling to save their marriage. So anyone can have problems. This is the first thing that you need to accept. The troubles may come from a number of things such as problems at work, financial, commitment, and even deeper, personal problems. No one is perfect. Once you accept this, you can start to figure out how to fix a problem in a relationship.

Nature Of Relationship Problems

So what kind of problems are you having in a relationship? This is important in figuring out how to handle them. For instance, are the two of you arguing a lot? Are you spending too much time apart? Is he not talking to you or not showing much affection? Does he want to go out with his friends a couple of nights a week? These are all common problems that, with enough dedication and the right solution, you can work them out. However, if the nature of the problem is more serious, such as physical violence or infidelity, that is a whole different ballgame and one that you need to seriously consider if it is worth sticking around to fix. Violence and infidelity are two things that can cause irrepairable damage to a relationship. These types of problems are difficult to overcome and if they happen once they will likely happen again. These types of problems, however, should be discussed in another article.

What Is The Cause Of Relationship Problems

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Handling a problem in a relationship is tricky. However, every problem in a relationship has a cause. You just have to find it. First thing you should do is to try to analyze yourself. This will include your role and your actions in the relationship. How do you treat the other person? Are you respectful to them? Do you give them positive attention or do you boss them around? The cause of the problems could be something that you are doing. On the other hand, it may be something that the other person is doing to cause the issues.

There are other common causes to relationship problems. These include things like finances, jealousy, peer influence, disapproval of parents and in-laws, personal habits, and a dozen other things. Whatever the cause may be, it is important for the future of your relationship to identify it.

Talk It Over

Hopefully you can figure out the source of your relationship problems. But even if you do not, you can still try to solve the problem. The first thing you should do (and it is probably the best thing to do) is to talk about the problem with your significant other. Tell them what is bothering you about the relationship. This gives you the chance to express and communicate that you are not happy with the situation in the relationship. But don’t just be centered on yourself. A relationship’s problems cannot be fixed from just one side. Ask your partner what about the relationship may be bothering them or what they are unhappy with. If you do not communicate, then you will never be able to handle problems in a relationship.

Seek Counseling

Sometimes talking with one another is not enough. Your opinions may be too strong and neither of you will concede or compromise. If this happens, you may need the advice of a counselor. A counselor provides a neutral, unbiased opinion of what they see as the problem (or problems) with your relationship. As a professional, they are skilled as getting to the root of the problem and giving advice on what the two of you can do to save your relationship.

Counseling only works if both parties are willing to take it seriously. If one of you does not wish to see a counselor or only does so grudgingly to make the other happy, then the professional advice is not likely to work.

Get Some Advice From Friends

No one knows you better than your friends. Often friends are standing aside and watching as problems develop. Like a counselor, friends can sometimes give you advice from a different perspective. This may be harder if your friends are close to both you and your partner. They may feel reluctant to be honest in their opinions because they do not want to cause any more rifts in your relationship. The reverse is also true for friends who are loyal only to you and who may hold some sort of grudge against your partner. They may be just as likely to give you negative advice that is not helpful. So be careful before asking advice from friends. Even though they may give you advice on what they think you should do to handle relationship problems, it may not be the right advice for you.

How To Keep From Having Relationship Problems

The best way to handle problems in a relationship is to curb any problems before they occur. How can you do this? By keeping an open communication between you and your partner. If something bothers you, don’t let it go in the hopes that things will get better over time. You should always voice your concerns at the time that the happen. By letting things go, the problems could continue or get worse. You partner may be unaware that there are problems. By communicating, both of you will always know what the other is feeling.

The other way to keep from having problems is to make sure that you devote enough time to a relationship. This doesn’t mean that you should become obsessive. Everyone needs space, even in a good relationship. But if you or your partner is not devoting enough time together, then problems will arise. Spend quality time together, do things that you both will enjoy, and every once in awhile do something special just for your partner. So if problems should arise, don’t give any reason for problems to continue.

See Also: Falling in Love with a Friend and Fun Questions to Ask Friends.