What Do Women Look For in a Man?
Guys in relationships wonder what women want. Guys NOT in relationships also wonder what women want, but these guys have different reasons. Both sets of guys wonder what it is they’re missing. In either case, this page tries to answer the question “what do women want in a man?”.
What women want in a man is simple, though. Their motivations when looking for a man are similar to a man’s motivations when looking for a woman. Like men, women are shopping for the best deal. Women want a man with the most going for him, just like men want a woman with the most going for her.
What Women Want Is Not Complicated
A woman’s shopping list differs from a man’s shopping list.
For a man, “the most going for her” typically means good looks and a good personality. And for men, the tiebreaker is almost always looks.
For a woman, “the most going for him” means lots of things. Looks is only part of the package, and it’s not always at the top of the list.
Looks matter, and you should make yourself look and smell as nice as possible, whatever you have to work with. Good grooming, nice clothing, and a nice smell demonstrates that you’re conscientious and have means. A woman wants a man who has his act together, and good grooming is a positive signal. Your goal with women should be to demonstrate that you’ve got it together.
That’s attractive to women.
Women Want Confidence in a Man
Confidence is the most attractive trait a man can have. Don’t be share all your fears and worries to a woman. She’s not your therapist, and sharing your fears and worries will relegate you to the “just friends” category instantly.
How Can Men Develop Confidence?
Men develop confidence by setting and achieving goals. The goals don’t have to be grand; they do have to be something you want. Start with small, easy goals. Accomplishment does wonders for a person’s confidence. Move from one success to another, and you’ll begin to gain true confidence in yourself.
Goals can involve eliminating weaknesses or accentuating strengths. Either one will improve your confidence, and improved confidence will get you more dates.
Women Want Men Who Know What They Want
Goals define you. You know what you want, and you’re going about getting it. Women love men who know what they want. Have the confidence to want something, and attain whatever that is.
“Knowing what you want” applies to knowing what woman you want, but that’s only the beginning. If she asks where you want to eat, tell her. Don’t leave the decision up to her. If she asks your opinion, don’t try to figure out how she feels about the topic just so you can agree with her. Give her your opinion.
If you’re attracted to a woman, let her know. But don’t come on too strong. Don’t emphasize your attraction. Occasional compliments are okay; constant compliments are not. And don’t make unconditional compliments.
Women will forgive you for disagreeing with them. Women won’t forgive you for slavishly conforming to her opinions. Why is that?
Women Want a Challenge In a Man
Women like men who challenge them. Men who make women wonder exactly how they feel about them are challenging men. That’s why you don’t give unconditional compliments or sugary compliments. Don’t tell her, “You’re soooo beautiful,” or “You’re perfect!”.
Instead, compliment specific traits, like her laugh or her sense of humor.
Your compliment should stand out. Every other guy she’s talked to tonight complimented her eyes. Find something else you like about her and go there. She’ll remember your compliment, I promise you.
But don’t make your compliments unconditional. Leave something in reserve, because you want to challenge a woman.
The Theory of the Neg
The “neg” is the negative compliment or the back-handed compliment. Negs are conditional compliments. “You and I aren’t going to get along, because we’re too much alike.” or “Those are nice nails…Are they real?” You’re pointing out something about her, but you’ve got reservations. That presents a challenge to a woman.
The neg has some danger. You risk offending her, so you have to be deft at saving your comment. For instance, in the negs above, you don’t start with the full comments.
In the first, you tell a woman, “You and I aren’t going to get along.” If she replies in a snotty fashion with something like, you’re right, that’s when you hit her with the “you and I are too much alike.” You pull back the negative comment and establish common ground between the two of you. Most important, you aren’t simply complimenting her eyes or telling her she’s pretty.
In the second neg, you give a woman a standard compliment, “I like your nails.” If she’s friendly about the comment, let it stand. But if she’s standoffish or inattentive, that’s when you pull back the original comment with a neg, by saying, “Are they real?” That’s going to challenge her to prove herself to you.
A Warning: This Could Backfire
The neg isn’t for everyone, and most people suck at it at first. Many people don’t like confrontation and conflict, but the guy who challenges the woman is going to get her attention – if not start an attraction.
Women Want a Man Who Has Options
Women want the best man they can find. One way they know they’re getting a valuable man is by noticing when other women find him attractive. Consider yourself a work of art or a rare item. Your value is determined by supply and demand. You’re in short supply when there’s demand for your attention, so you have more value.
Don’t hold this against women. Men want the best woman they can find, too. Men want to hook up with the best looking girl in the room. If they can’t have the best looking woman in the room, they want to land the best-looking woman they can land. Guys don’t start out hoping to settle.
But men and women find different traits attractive. Men are straightforward and simple. They generally want a woman who’s good-looking. Women are more complicated.
What a Woman Wants
Women want men with options. Options might mean money or power. Options might mean lots of friends, lots of job prospects, or lots of talent. Options might mean a bevy of women who want to have you.
Propagation accounts for the sexes’ respective expectations. Men want the most attractive women they can find, because attractive woman are healthy bear beautiful children. Women want men with options, because men are providers. Strong providers offer women and children security, contentment, and options of their own.
That might be mercenary or calculating in both instances, but it’s logical. Do you expect people to be attracted to fewer options?
Women Are Looking For a Bargain
Women are looking for men who:
- Are confident
- Have options
- Challenge them
- Know what they want
Now that you know what women want in a man, go out and reinvent yourself.
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