What is “working mom guilt”? The definition of ‘guilt’, according to dictionary.com, is a feeling of responsibility for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined. Now would you honestly walk up to a working mother and tell her that she is guilty of an offense, crime, or wrong just because she is working outside of the home? I seriously hope not, but some working moms have such an overwhelming feeling of guilt that they might as well have committed a national offense.
So now that you have a little insight on what “working mom guilt” is, let’s figure out how to handle it. The first step into any problem is to analyze it to figure out why you have labeled it a problem in your life. So how do you go about analyzing a problem? Ask yourself questions about what specific things make you feel guilty about working outside of the home.
Mom Guilt About a Job
Let’s analyze your personal feelings about your job. What are your motivations for working? Do you work because you have a passion for your job or do you work because you desperately need the income to support your family? Would you feel less “working mom guilt” if you had a job where your work hours would allow you to spend more time with your child (children) even if it involved less pay?
Let’s analyze your personal feelings about your child care arrangements. Do you like the day care facility or person who takes care of your child (children) while you are at work? Are the child care expenses for your current arrangements financially draining you? Would you feel less “working mom guilt” if you changed your current child care arrangements?
Let’s analyze your personal feelings about your support system. Who are the people you are around most the time? Are you around your co-workers, your spouse, your family, etc? Think about those people individually. How does that person make you feel? Is that person a negative or positive influence? It would be best to limit your time around people that make you feel negatively about yourself and/or your work situation. Would you feel less “working mom guilt” if you spent 100% of your time around people that make you feel good about yourself and/or your work situation?
Spending Time With Your Kids
Let’s analyze your personal feelings about how you spend time just for yourself. Do you have any time that you set aside just for you? What things do you like to do that make you feel happy about yourself? You need to do this! Use that positive support system to watch your child (children) for a few hours while you run some errands, get a pedicure, talk a walk, workout, get a haircut, take a nap, etc. Make sure you have some personal time just for you at least once per month. Would you feel less “working mom guilt” if you had some alone time to give yourself a little break?
Hopefully this information has helped you pinpoint what exactly causes “working mom guilt” for you. Try making some changes in your life to see if this helps alleviate this “working mom guilt” feeling for you. Remember, you are trying to become the best mother and the best employee at the same time. Just make sure you are creating a healthy balance for both ‘jobs’.