How Do I Get My Ex-Boyfriend Back?

Just about everyone has had their heart broken by an unexpected break-up at one time or another. After you get over the initial shock, anger, and resentment, you realize that you want him back. And why not? You may still be in love with him and ready to give the relationship another chance. It is normal to want to get back together with your ex-boyfriend. But it is not easy (if it was, everyone would be back with their ex). You may make a few pathetic attempts but nothing works. He won’t return your calls or reply to your emails. When everything you try fails, you may end up asking everyone you know “how do I get back with my ex-boyfriend’? Now, I am not going to go over how to manipulate or use dirty tactics to get your man back. This isn’t that kind of article. I am going to tell you how to try to get them back in as healthy a fashion as possible. To have a shot at getting back together with him, there are some things that you can do and some things that you don’t do.

How Not To Get Back Together With An Ex-Boyfriend

First, let’s talk about how not to get back together with an ex-boyfriend. Right after the break-up you should not call him every hour of every day or send him a thousand text messages. You should not beg and plead and ask why. Yes, of course you want to know why but that can always come later. Asking why right after a break up only leads to an argument and is not productive to getting back together. You should also not spend your free time following him around like a stalker. Sooner or later he is going to see you and getting caught spying on your ex is the same as getting caught trying to get into the cookie jar. Also, don’t try to ambush your ex-boyfriend with ‘accidental run-ins’, especially in places that you never use to frequent. If he likes hanging out a particular sports bar with his buddies on Thursday night, it will be more than a coincidence if you show up and act all surprised because he is there. This will just lead to an awkward situation.

And most importantly, don’t play manipulative mind games. Girls may be good at it but most guys hate it. Despite the saying that ‘all is fair in love and war’, guys would rather you played straight with them. If you use deceitful measures to get back together with your ex-boyfriend, it will never last because he will eventually find out and then you will lose his trust.

Work On Yourself


f you are serious about getting back with your ex-boyfriend, you first need to take care of yourself. This means you need some time to heal and work on your self-esteem. You need to build your confidence back up and give yourself time to get in a better frame of mind. Trying to get back together with your ex-boyfriend is difficult if you are still emotionally in pain.

Another reason to take time to work on yourself is to do some soul searching and see if there was anything you did to push your boyfriend away. Perhaps you were too needy or kept nitpicking about small things. Perhaps you were too controlling. You should never assume that a break up is automatically your fault. However, if you suspect that there was something you did to drive the guy away, then you need to take the time to fix it.

Don’t be So Clingy

Before you try to get back together with your ex, you need to give them some space. If you were clingy when you were together and it led to your break up, then being clingy now is not going to work. Just as you need time to heal and get your head together, so does your ex-boyfriend. Sure, he may start seeing someone else, but if you keep bugging him, it will only drive him further away from you and that much closer to someone else.

Guys Are Visual

Personality and a sense of humor are important factors in attracting and keeping a guy. But nothing grabs someone’s attention as physical traits. If that wasn’t true, then clubs would be full of people without any make-up and wearing their sweats and comfortable t-shirts. If you want to get back with your ex-boyfriend, then it is time for a make-over. Change your hair style, make-up, and style of clothing. Pay more attention to how you look. If you feel that you are a bit on the heavy side, then try to lose a few pounds. If you want your ex to look at you in a different way, a make-over is a good way to accomplish this.

Get On With Your Life

I don’t know what it is, but when someone sees their ex moving on and not mopping about their break up, it can lead to them second-guessing themselves. If you are seen to be going out with friends and having a good time instead of pining away for your lost guy, it could spark a new interest in your old flame. He might start to think he made a mistake in breaking up with you. So don’t sit around in misery. Get on with your life and let them see you having fun without them.

How Do I Get My Ex-Girlfriend Back

It is not always the girl that gets dumped. Just as often it is the guy that gets the walking papers. It can come suddenly and unexpectantly, leaving you wondering what you did wrong. After you have picked up your self-esteem, you may wonder “how do I get back with my ex-girlfriend”?

It Is All Your Fault

Before you can do anything else, guys must face one cold fact: no matter whose fault it is, it is always your fault. If you want to get back with your ex-girlfriend, you had better be prepared to shoulder most of the responsibility. No one likes being told that they are wrong and even if you are in the right, trying to defend your case may only start an argument with someone you are trying to get back together with. That’s called being counter-productive. So if you want to get back with your ex-girlfriend, you need to be prepared to take the blame. By doing so shows her that you are mature and responsible enough to admit mistakes.

Quit Making A Fool Of Yourself

Stop calling her so much and chasing her down at the clubs so you can confess how much you love her. This is called stalking and all it will do is push her away. Pleading after a break up has never caused an ex to say “You are right. I made a mistake. Let’s get back together.” Every time you show up and make a fool of yourself, it just reinforces more that she was right to break up with you. Quit bugging her and give her some space.

Show Her You’ve Changed

Women usually want to change a guy, even ones that they are attracted to. If during the course of your relationship, your girlfriend nagged you about things that you should or should not do, these things probably led to the break up. If you want to get back with your ex, then start making those changes. Show some direction and motivation in your life. It won’t be easy so start off slow. Try making small changes in your life and building up from there. Maybe then when you are ready to get back together with her, you can show her how much you have changed and she will be impressed.

See Also: Falling in Love with a Friend and Fun Questions to Ask Friends.