How Do You Write A Love Letter?

Romance is not dead. In fact, with the economy in the state it is currently in no doubt you find your wallet is much lighter than in years past. Romance doesn’t have to mean champagne and pearls — sometimes, a simple expression of love through words is more meaningful than the most expensive diamond or night on the town.

The best kind of romance is the kind that has no purpose. Don’t wait for Valentine’s Day or an anniversary to express your love, try writing your lover a letter that expresses your feelings “just because”. Many people are scared to attempt a love letter, fearing that they don’t have the writing skills or the creativity necessary to compose a worthy epistle. It doesn’t have to be difficult.

Writing Love Letter Dos & Dont’s

How do you write a love letter? Here are some valuable writing love letter dos & dont’sto help you on your way.

1. DO Read Examples of Classic Love Letters

Your local library has stacks of books full of examples of classic love letters. A great place to start is books of collected letters from soldiers fighting abroad to their lovers back in the states. These men (and women) had nothing but words to maintain their romantic contact, and because of this great burden they were truly inspired and composed some of the most beautiful letters ever writtten. Look for Love Letters of the Civil War for classic and heady romantic letters to model your writing after. Another great title is Love Letters in the Sands of Time, a collection of letters back and forth between lovers during World War Two. There is nothing wrong with looking for inspiration in the words of those that came before you — just be sure not to plagiarize. If you’re having a really tough time getting started, consider including a quote from a classic love letter, making sure you give credit where credit is due. You might say “A soldier in the Civil War once wrote to his lover: It is almost impossible to sleep because of my thoughts of you” and go on from there. Your love will appreciate your romantic spirit, and will not accuse you of plagiarism — you’re merely reflecting the feelings of another lover from a time past. Using classic love letters as a kind of “draft” for your own letter is a tried and true technique.

2. DON’T be too sexually explicit


A love letter can include a touch of erotic language, but it is easy to cross the line into pornography. There is a time and a place for bedroom talk — and it is in the bedroom, not in a love letter. A better way to express your affection is to use feeling words, words that come from the heart. Instead of describing the sexual things you want to do with your partner, consider digging into your brain and figuring out why you want to do these things. Describe a physical aspect of your partner that turns you on, and the more detail the better. Of course, all rules were meant to be broken, and it is possible you and your partner have the kind of relationship that would allow for a slightly raunchy letter. However, in most cases you should err on the side of romance. Remember that romance and sex are two seperate but related things. Its perfectly fine to be turned on by your lover, but it will be more meaningful if you explain why you feel the way you do rather than detail a sexual exploit or fantasy.

3. DO use nice stationary and present your letter in a romantic way

Sometimes the presentation of your love letter is more important than the words within. Especially if you’re nervous about your writing ability, buy special paper and write with a nice pen. Yes, it may be a bit expensive, but it is still cheaper than expensive gifts. I find that cream colored paper and thick black ink are the most romantic and expressive colors — but be creative. Remembering that this is a love letter, think of the colors your partner likes best, and compose your letter accordingly. When it is time to share your note with your lover, consider one of two very romantic options. Reading your letter aloud creates a sense of closeness and intimacy that your partner will not soon forget. Mood lighting, soft music, a nice bottle of wine that you both enjoy, or just a romantic setting can increase the impact of your words tenfold. Alternatively, if you’re too nervous to read or want to surprise your partner, you can hide the love letter in a place you know your partner will find it. Everyone loves a surprise, and a surprise that includes passionate words and true feelings will have even more impact. You could take it one step further and set up a kind of “treasure hunt” — leave little notes like “Look under your pillow” which lead to other clues (in somewhat romantic places — don’t hide your love letter under the sink) will show your lover that you put thought into this experience, and add an element of fun. You might even be able to rig it so that the final clue leads to you, sitting with your letter in hand and a candle burning. Presentation can be key in how your partner receives the message. Be creative.

4. DON’T take the easy way out

Your love letter should be somewhat lengthy, and if not long it must at least completely express your feelings. If you’re having difficulty composing a complete expression of love, try these tips. List the qualities in your partner that make them stand out in the crowd. If you love her long red hair, tell her so, and consider turning it into a metaphor — “Your hair burns like a fire in my memory” or something along these lines. It may sound cliche, but trust me — your partner will appreciate it, and at worst you can share an intimate giggle session with your romantic partner. Tell your partner how he or she completes you, how they fit in your life. We all remember the time before we were with our partner — how lonely we were, or a specific way in which our lives were incomplete. In a similar vein, you can describe your first meeting or your first date, and how it changed your life or your attitude. Recall some romantic or unique moments you shared. I once had a lover who got terribly sick on our first date, and I ended up sitting up with her all night, getting her water or pressing a cool cloth on the back of her neck. Though it may have been embarassing for her at the time, it ended up being a hilarious and romantic memory that we both cherish to this day. Finally, explain how much you miss your partner when you’re apart. Everyone wants to be missed. Be careful not to sound too needy, but be sure to fully express yourself. You may be upset later if you don’t give it your all — write, revise, revise again until your letter perfectly expresses your feelings. Then be prepared to share your letter.

Writing Love Letters

Writing love letters is a cheap (or even free) and a very romantic way of sharing love between you and your partner. Your lover may even be inspired to write a letter back — imagine the impact a dual set of love letters will have on your lover. Don’t forget to sign and date your letter to make it a keepsake, something your partner will want to keep forever. Don’t be shy; remember that romance is the key to keeping a relationship close, and write from the heart.

See Also: Falling in Love with a Friend, Fun Questions to Ask Friends and Tips for Writing Love Letter.