Asking anyone out on a date should be a simple matter of just walking up, making conversation, and then asking them out. But the reality is that it is not that simple. Nerves and lack of confidence can cause you to crash and burn. Or worse, you may not even be able to work up the courage to walk up to a girl to ask her out. Some girls have a reputation of being ruthless when shooting a guy down. They have left a trail of devastated egos in their wake. To ask a girl out, a person needs confidence, a bit of charm, and a strategy. If you are having trouble asking a girl out on a date, here are some pointers to help you boost your confidence and to know what to say.
Is She Into You
Before you ask a girl out, it helps to know if she is into you or not. Some guys try to plan the right moment to ask a girl out. Well, here is a news flash. If a girl is into you, you don’t have to wait for the right time because she is going to say yes anyway. So any time is a good one. But how do you know if they are into you? When you meet someone, after awhile, you should be able to tell if they are sending the right signals to you or not. If you can’t tell, then either the girl is not sending out any signals that indicate she is interested or you need to go back to Socializing 101 and learn how to read people and socialize correctly. Does the girl smile at you when she talks to you? Does she touch your arm or your knee every now and then when she talks to you? Does she lean towards you? Short of having a flashing sign that says “I am interested” these are big clues she is throwing out to you that you should pick up on.
If a girl is into you, then asking her out gets a lot easier. If the girl is not into you, that doesn’t mean she is automatically out of the game. It just means you need to invest some more time in getting her to warm up to you. Get to know her a little better and let her get to know you. Turn on the charm a little more and try to get her to laugh (with you, not at you). Laughter is always a good sign.
Get To Know Her
Before you ask a girl out on a date, flirt with her a little first. Flirting is a way to communicate your interest in a girl and to subconsciously let her know your intentions of pursuing her. Think of it as priming the pump, so to speak. You want the girl to know beforehand that you are interested before you ask her out because otherwise she might be surprised. If you have tried to play it cool and not let her know that you are interested, she might be surprised when you finally ask her out and might not know what to say. Flirt with her first and get her interested in you.
How to Ask Her Out
So far all of the above is just advice to help you build up to the moment. When it comes to actually asking a girl out, this is where many men run into a problem. They don’t know what to say, how to approach a girl, or are afraid of getting turned down. Unless you have already met a girl and have been acquainted for awhile, you will likely have to walk up to them cold turkey and introduce yourself. This will probably be the hardest thing you can ever do when it comes to dating. One trick to try is to get it framed in your mind that the goal is not asking her out on a date. The goal is just to strike up a conversation. Go up to a girl and introduce yourself. Ask her name and maybe where she is from. Give her a compliment about what she is wearing or some feature of hers. Don’t just walk up and say “You’re beautiful”. Be specific with compliments. Talk with her for a little bit and if you think she is interested in you, ask her if she would like to go out sometime. Don’t set the date right there. Get her phone number and promise to call. If you get her phone number, you should call her within a day or two. Don’t be cool and hold off on calling her for a week. Do it while your meeting is still fresh in her mind.
Now here is a trick you can use. You can make it seem like you already have plans and then invite her to come along. For example, you can tell her you have plans to go to some event. Then you can ask her if she would like to come along. This way it doesn’t seem like you are specifically making plans for her or with her and there can be a little less pressure on the date.
Confidence is the key. Whatever approach you use, whatever you say to her, you need to exude confidence when you do it. If you are nervously sweating and can’t put together a single sentence without stammering through it, it can be a big turn off to most girls. By exhibiting a level of confidence, you are saying that you are comfortable with who you are, you have a healthy ego and self-esteem, and that you are capable of being in charge if necessary.
And if She Says No…
This is the big fear. What if a girl that you ask out says no? The answer is “so what”? Being turned down is part of dating and it is bound to happen at some time. You will probably find that the more girls you ask out, the easier it becomes. If you have a healthy self-esteem, you can just shrug it off and go on to the next girl. This may sound a bit callous but if your confidence is shattered after the first time a girl says no to a date, you are going to have a hard time getting a date. After all, not everyone is compatible. Learn to have a thick skin and realize (as the saying goes) that there are plenty of fish in the sea.