Men spend more time wondering what women want from them than most women would believe. The stereotype about men suggests that they are unthinking uncaring oafs who mostly think about sex and sports. While there is some truth to our obsession with physical love and physical competition, we are much more layered than this – as suggested by what we really want in a woman.
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What Men Look For In A Woman
In no particular order, here are 4 things that explain what men look for in a woman. You might also be interested in
what women want in a man.
Let’s not pretend that its just men who are looking for a capable and attentive sexual partner. We would be doing women an injustice if we didn’t give them credit for their sensual side. Men want a partner who will be willing to share her affection physically without intimidating him. I have seen it happen – some women simply look too intense or “hot” for men to approach. Sociologists tell us this could be because men are concerned about their ability to “please” these women in bed. To that end, there is something to be said for “dressing down” and being yourself. Some ways to show a man you’re interested in providing the physical attention he wants is through subtle gestures and touching. Graze his arm with your hand, let your hips touch casually, or just outright put your hand on his face – playfully. The point of subtle touch is to make him think it was casual, so don’t be too serious about it. By allowing for casual touch, you’ll be planting a seed in his mind. Besides, you can find out if you even like touching him long before committing to a date. Don’t be intimidated by men’s desire for good sex – after all, isn’t it one of your desires, too?
Thank God there is no ideal physical appearance, no perfect female standard to adhere to. Social scientists have tried to describe the “perfect” body, telling us that men look for things like the “70% ratio” of waist to hips (a nearly impossible feat), or perfect facial symmetry, something that you’re either born with or not. Rather than try to squeeze your body into someone else’s idea of beauty, it is more important to maintain your health, take care of yourself, and practice good hygiene. Most men I talk to say that women stand out for simple reasons – some men look for red hair, still others are after an attractive smile. The one thing I don’t hear is that men get out a tape measure and calculate waist to hip ratios or distance between eyes, etc. Men will either be attracted to a woman initially, or they won’t. By paying attention to your health (eating fruits and vegetables, trying to stay within a healthy weight range) and practicing basic hygiene (brushing your teeth, keeping your hair clean) you will do yourself and your potential dates a favor. Whether or not a man is attracted to you is out of your hands. The best you can do is prepare yourself – and by the way, keeping your body healthy is a good idea in general. A healthy body is a happy body, and good general health leads to good mental health. You have no say in whether or not a man is attracted to you, but you do have control over your health.
The word “trust” here refers not just to a man’s ability to trust that you won’t cheat on him, but his ability to come to you for his emotional needs. All people require trust before they’re willing to share with someone on a deep level – the kind of level that is healthy for a relationship. If a man thinks you’ll listen to his problems and immediately rush off to the internet to Twitter all your friends about it, he won’t have that sense of trust necessary to really develop a relationship. In fact, a lack of trust can lead to some really unhealthy partnering. A many may be willing, for instance, to have sex with you or flirt with you, but a perceived lack of trust will keep him from really connecting with his partner. You will become, pardon the expression, a “booty call” – not because he’s a jerk, but because he doesn’t trust you enough to move the relationship into the next phase. Here is another way in which you and your potential man are similar; you both need trust to make a relationship work. How do you show that you are trustworthy? Avoid gossiping to him about your friends. It may seem fun, and yes its necessary to blow off steam, but it will teach him another important lesson – that you are untrustworthy.
Sense of Humor
Men and women both need humor in their lives to stay happy. Humor is also a great icebreaker in many different difficult situations. How many times has a simple joke turned an awkward first date into a relaxed good time, or how often have you used humor to “disarm” someone you’ve been attracted to? There will most certainly come times in your relationship that a good joke will keep a minor disagreement from becoming a full fledged argument. Humor works because it breaks down our sense of ourselves, relaxes us physically (laughter being the best medicine), and shows people around us that we have a playful and friendly side. Men want a woman with a sense of humor for the same reason women want the same thing in a man – humor keeps our mood bright, and can even ignite passion. It turns out, laughter is also one of the best aphrodisiacs, and men will find your sense of humor, no matter how goofy or corny, a serious
Desired Girlfriend Traits
No two men are alike, and the desired girlfriend traits will differ from man to man. However, you can bet that some combination of the above features will attract just about any man. Interestingly enough, all four of the above are healthy pursuits that men and women share – what woman doesn’t want to have a quality sexual life, a healthy body, a sense of humor, or the ability to share deeply with their partner? As it turns out, men and women are more similar than Cosmo would lead us to believe.
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