What Do Women Want In A Man?

There is an age old question that haunts most of us men looking to attract women. Even more important than what we should wear, or how we should behave in a flirting situation, is this simple age old query.

Characteristics Women Find Appealing In A Man?

While no one could possibly answer this question with anything resembling a complete answer, there are tips from psychologists and advice writers, as well as from everyday women themselves, that can give us (mostly clueless) men an insight into the female mind. Its not such a scary place to be after all.

“What women want in a man” can be generalized into these four categories that explaim characteristics women find appealing in man.


Most men either have no confidence, or carry around a false sense of confidence in an attempt to impress women. Women, just like men, want to see “real confidence” in a man’s behavior and attitude, and are sensitive to true confidence versus false bravado. Even if you can fake your confidence at first, any woman you attract and begin spending time with will learn your “true colors” with time – usually it doesn’t take very long. Having confidence is about more than thinking you’re attractive, or believing that you can achieve certain goals. A confident man will share his opinions without being argumentative, doesn’t mind an intellectual debate, is open to new ideas, and doesn’t constantly ask if “everything’s alright”. Carry this confidence into the bedroom – don’t ask if she’s having a good time or if you’re a good enough lover, simply assume you are and let her make the final decision. Most women react to confidence the way most men react to large breasts – it could be the most attractive thing about men to many women. In fact, true confidence will seep into the other areas of your life, and pretty much ensure that the other three categories listed here will be met.



Showing affection is not a matter of physical contact or emotional connection alone, but a complex mix of the two. Just like men, women want to know that they are appreciated, and this comes through affection and closeness as much as it does through any other aspect of a relationship. Take the time to learn a woman’s likes and dislikes, and cater your actions to these things. This doesn’t mean compromising your own taste — okay, so it does sometimes, but not all the time. An example of a small gesture that shows affection would be something like what happened on my first date with my current girlfriend. We were on a walk around the town square, and could only scrape together enough money for one glass of wine to share between the two of us. She mentioned a preference for Chardonnay, a wine that I usually detest. Though I wanted to order the heftiest and most expensive pinot noir on the menu, I compromised and shared her Chardonnay with her. I smiled through the pain and could tell she really appreciated it. Affection is also shown in bigger gestures, including public affection like holding her hand to show you’re proud of her. Any pains you take to show true affection will be well rewarded, and your woman will feel special and appreciated.


We live in an age where women can be truly independent – it is no longer true that a man must provide everything for his woman. Most of my girlfriends make more money than I do – what can I say, I’m just a humble internet freelancer. But providing “security” means more than bringing home the bacon, or standing up for her honor. A woman wants to know that her partner is going to work at least as hard as she is to get the good things in life. If you wait tables two days a week and spend the rest of your time playing video games, you don’t make a very likely partner long term. Paying your bills and being financially honest with a woman are two other great tactics to proving you are stable and can help provide security to your relationship. Especially now, with the economy in a nosedive and not likely to get much better for a few years, it is important for your potential dating partner to know you’re going to pull your weight. Even though most women don’t need to simply take money from their men anymore, its vital for a man to prove that he can provide when called upon. Buy dinner as often as you can, give her little gifts, and put your nose to the grind at work. Your potential partners will appreciate the show of security, and your confidence will get a big boost.


Women are often stereotyped as “emotional” creatures – the truth is that all people are emotional, male and female. If you weren’t an emotional guy, you wouldn’t be reading this article right now – you wouldn’t be at all concerned with a woman’s feelings. Being “understanding” means providing a shoulder to cry on, honest advice and support during tough times, and sometimes just the ability to have a quiet night in when your partner is feeling down or sick or just plain tired. It is easy for us as men to overlook the little things that add up to being labeled “understanding” – if your girlfriend is feeling moody, consider curling up under a blanket and watching her favorite trashy TV show. If she is fighting with her friend, be a sounding board for her concerns without adding too much of our own opinion, unless she asks for it. When the two of you have a fight, and you most certainly will at some point, listen to her complaints and concerns, and respond honestly. Understanding is a vital part of a successful romantic relationship, and one that we men struggle with the most.

Women’s Desires

Remember that every woman is different, and most women wouldn’t appreciate their desires being generalized according to the above four guidelines. These are just meant to be brainstorms for men who are completely confused about women’s desires. No human being is the same as any other – and you will no doubt find women who AREN’T looking for “security” or a man who is “understanding”. However, making yourself sensitive and open to being confident, showing affection, providing a certain amount of security for a woman, and trying to be emotionally open and understanding can only make you a better and more interesting man – and hopefully, a more appealing love partner.

See Also: Falling in Love with a Friend and Fun Questions to Ask Friends.