Relationship questions are some of the most interesting a person can ask. Whether you are asking your significant other, asking someone who is part of another couple, or reflecting on a relationship in which you participate, relationship questions reveal a lot about a person. If you are asking another person a relationship question, it is important to be diplomatic and understanding. Relationships involve a lot of sensitive emotions and if a person feels there is judgment involved in a conversation, he or she is unlikely to be open and honest. Engaging in a frank, honest discussion about relationships can be healthy, but all parties must agree to show respect during the conversation.
There are several circumstances in which people would ask relationship questions. Here are a few examples:
Relationship Questions for a New Relationship
New relationships are fun and exciting, but they can also be nerve-racking. The start of a new relationship is usually the point at which a person has the most questions. Participants are not entirely sure of the other person’s feelings and both parties are unsure of where things are headed. When people are just getting to know one another, they are unsure of the habits and tendencies of the other person. Early in a relationship, you might not be sure how often you will see each other, if you are dating exclusively, or whether your emotional attachment will be considered too fast or too slow. You might even have generic questions about your relationship and wonder how the person you are dating feels about love, monogamy, and other relationship issues. New relationship questions include:
- Where is this going?
- Are we moving too fast?
- How intense are the other person’s feelings for me?
- Is seeing one another once/twice/several times a week too much?
- How soon is too soon to ask for another date or call?
- Am I being too pushy? Too standoffish? Too possessive?
- Are we dating only each other or should we date other people, too?
- Will the person’s friends and family like me?
- How attractive does this person find me?
- Is this the one?
Relationship Questions about the Future
Though many relationship questions about the future overlap with questions asked during a new relationship, questions about a relationship’s future are asked later in a
relationship, when there is a deeper commitment. Some of the same questions become more serious once you have been dating for awhile and you know the relationship will last more than a few dates. You might be wondering more about when things are going to happen, as opposed to if they are going to happen. You might also be more willing to confront your partner with relationship questions about the future. While you might be uncomfortable asking a person if marriage is in the cards after just a few dates, it is entirely appropriate to ask the question of someone whom you have dated for several months or years. Relationship questions about the future include:
- When are we getting married?
- Are we going to be parents?
- Should we move in together?
- Should we combine assets?
- How often should we see family and friends?
- Should we consider different living arrangements?
These questions are intended to move the relationship forward or to as least clarify the future of the relationship. Be forewarned, having conversations that include these questions can be very emotional and stressful. This is especially true if members of a couple are moving toward the future at a different pace. Difficult as it may be, it is still important to ask relationship questions about the future, so you are able to make individual decisions about your life.
Relationship Questions about the Past
One of the most treacherous areas of relationship questions is questions about the past. Grilling your significant other about events in their past relationships can be dangerous, but it can also help you get to know the person better. Communicating about past relationships can also make things easier if a past love interest is still in your significant other’s life. For instance, understanding why your boyfriend divorced his wife makes dealing with shared custody issues of children much easier. It can also be helpful to understand what went wrong in previous relationships because it helps both of you avoid the same mistakes. If you know your wife’s previous husband was overbearing and possessive, you will be more sensitive to these issues. Even if you engage in only a mild version of these behaviors, it can still trigger unpleasant feelings for her. Understanding her hot button issues from previous relationships can help you avoid problems in your current situation. Relationship questions about the past include:
- Why did you and your ex break up?
- What bothered you most about your ex?
- Was there anything healthy about the relationship?
- Do you still have feelings for your ex and do these feelings have any bearing on our relationship?
- Is your ex still an important part of your life?
Relationship Questions that are Healthy
The important thing to remember when asking relationship questions is to keep a healthy goal in mind. If you are simply prying into another person’s thoughts and feelings, or you are looking for an argument, it is better to not ask questions. You might have to work some things out on your own, but that is better than causing problems and frustrating your significant other. It is also healthy to accept the answers you are given when you ask relationship questions, as long as you believe they are honest. If you were to ask a boyfriend or girlfriend about his or her ex and you know they are still speaking or seeing one another, but the answer you receive is intended to make you think otherwise, your significant other is not being honest. You have proof he or she is still in a relationship with an ex and if you are lied to about this, you need to consider this dishonesty.
However, if you ask a question and receive an honest answer, but you do not like the answer, you still need to accept it. This often happens when one person wants something from a relationship the other person is unwilling or not ready to provide yet. Relationship questions can reveal a lot about the direction and pace of a relationship, so take responsibility for your feelings, be honest when you ask and answer questions, and make your decisions based on the honest answers of your partner. Communication can bring things to light that are difficult to deal with, but it can also help you make health decisions about your relationship.
Relationship Questions for Others
Sometimes it is appropriate to ask other people questions about their relationships. Parents might ask adolescents about their relationships to determine how healthy their connection is with a boy or girl. Children might also have questions for parents about their relationship if things are not going smoothly or if they are curious about how marriage works. It can also be helpful to speak with other couples about their relationships to help you through the rocky times with your partner. Long-term couples who have made it through tough times often have advice to share. You might also have questions for someone who has come to you for advice about relationships. You need to know more about his or her relationship to offer the right kind of advice. The important thing to remember when talking about someone else’s relationship is not to judge. Be direct with your friend or loved one, but do not criticize or judge.
Relationship Questions to Ask Yourself
Finally, consider the relationship questions you should be asking yourself. You should be doing this whether you are in a relationship currently or if you hope to find a partner in the near future. It is important to understand your own wants and needs when it comes to relationships. You can learn a lot about yourself from a relationship if you reflect on your feelings and ask honest, probing questions. If you feel confused or unsettled about things, perhaps the person who needs to answer questions is you. All too often people point their finger toward their partner and blame him or her for what is not right with the relationship. The next time you are feeling insecure about your relationship, look inward and ask yourself relationship questions.
It is also important to ask relationship questions of yourself after a relationship ends or as a new one begins. Without dwelling on the pain and heartache associated with lost love, ask yourself questions about why things ended and what you can do in the future to prevent a relationship from ending poorly. Before getting involved with someone new, it is important to reflect on your feelings about a previous relationship. Relationship questions you ask yourself can help you clarify things and avoid future mistakes.
There are endless relationship questions you can ask, so try not to drive yourself crazy. The goal should always be to get healthier and create a healthier relationship. If you believe relationship questions can make this possible then go for it!